Stress is the new normal
What we resist persists. So, instead of managing stress, how about we transform it into growth?
In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an unwelcome companion in our daily lives. However, what if we shift our relationship with stress so that it's a catalyst for growth instead of an obstacle? What could change? Now, let me be clear: I'm not saying stress is great; I'm challenging our perception that we are supposed to be stress-free to have balance and joy in our lives.
But first, we must acknowledge the challenge.
The year-end rush looms before us, promising a hectic time filled with uncertainty and anxiety. Can you feel it? I certainly do as I examine my Q4—to use business language. I'm pondering how to best support clients grappling with constant change while striving to meet expectations and achieve their goals while reaching for my own. The pressure to meet year-end objectives can lead us to tell ourselves, once again, that we need to “just” push through, and then we can relax and recover. Yet, most of us continue to feel the relentless strain of navigating ongoing change.
“We don’t just get stressed from what we have to do; we get stressed from what we believe we cannot achieve or cannot do.”The harsh reality is that we humans perform best when we feel safe. Yet, most people and leaders I talk to experience the pressure of constant change and uncertainty, leading to chronic stress and anxiety. When they ask if everyone faces this much change, I tell them it's the new normal—the key is to learn how to be agile and adapt as part of work and life. This isn't meant to be harsh, but change is accelerating and won't slow down. Instead of getting stuck in stress, we need to improve our ability to navigate change, turning it into a pathway for growth. We need to develop "change-skills."
WHAT ARE CHANGE SKILLS?
To implement change, we must change our behavior. To change our behavior, we must first change our thinking, starting with learning to pause and ask more questions.
We must change how we engage with each other to change our culture from one driven by stress to one of growth.
To stop stress from running our lives and team communication and collaboration, we must learn to navigate change and grow with the flow together. Stress has a ripple effect, and it will affect us collectively.
CHANGE TRIGGERS STRESS
It's easier said than done. Having been in the "business of change" for as long as I can remember, I promise we can all learn to master change without the accompanying stress and burnout.
In my book The Self-Care Mindset, I outline a framework for change and growth from the inside out, starting with Power Pausing. When we cling to familiar work and life patterns, resisting change out of fear or discomfort, we struggle far more than necessary, yet that's normal. This is why we must learn “change-skills.”
Change requires rigorous emotional labor—it's not easy, but it is possible and worth it. Becoming more aware, adaptable, and agile will transform your life and work. It will transform you into a high performer who solves problems and makes decisions faster at work and in your personal life. Even just trusting yourself when you are at the restaurant, starring at the menu :)
IF PAUSING IS THE NEW FAST, WHAT COULD CHANGE?
We have come to accept and expect that squeezing every minute out of everything identifies a high performer. We have come to accept and expect that downtime is time off and something we do to recover after work. But what if pausing is a critical skill, yes, a skill that helps us manage stress and harness change?
When I joined the competitive gymnastics team at age six, I unknowingly entered a world of mindset training. My dad had already been teaching me to pause and ask more questions to shift my attention when scared, but being a competitive gymnast was a practice of consciously choosing my focus. This experience laid the foundation for a powerful mental skill.
Being an athlete is much like being a stress master. It involves a commitment to physical training and the ability to keep one's attention on the goal while acknowledging fears and concerns. Without this balance, one can become reckless and overly zealous, ignoring important cues and signs. Conversely, getting stuck on the hamster wheel of thoughts about what can go wrong will render you unable to perform. We saw this with Simone Biles, who chose to step back—a decision that ultimately helped her come back even stronger.
WE CANNOT FIX CHANGE.
Power-Pausing isn't merely about taking a break to recover from constant stress—that relief is short-lived, lasting only about as long as the pause itself. While pausing is essential to prevent stress accumulation, it's you who ultimately fixes stress, not the pause alone.
Power-Pausing is about gaining perspective and getting an overview of your situation. It's a chance to check in with yourself: Are your thoughts keeping you stuck? Are your feelings clues to something that needs attention, or are you uncomfortable because you're pushing against the edge of what's familiar and safe? Once you gain this perspective, you can reclaim agency over your power of choice. This is how change becomes growth rather than something we try to fix.
We become stuck when we try to fix change, causing more stress. The moment we accept the challenge, leave behind the familiar, and enter the messy middle of uncertainty, we can grow through change by making choices about moving forward and making better, more discerning, and informed decisions.
Of course, it's not a simple "just do it" process. That's why I wrote the book—too many people struggle with the stress of change, which prevents them from growing with the flow. And it’s not fair because change is possible and powerful.
