YOUR MIND IS PURE POTENTIAL
But be mindful to use it with care. (No pun, I promise :))
It’s easy to get caught in constant thinking because we have many problems to solve, and multi-tasking still seems to be the preferred way to get more done, even if it has been proven many times that it’s not how we are most effective. We just feel more busy, which can be rewarding and also stressful.
Even when we know that we need to pause to disconnect and unplug our mind from constant churning, it seems like we just don’t have time for that, doesn’t it?
It’s not you; it’s the social construct and a dash of human survival instinct that keeps us grinding away inside our heads. We are taught that working harder is how we succeed, and our nervous system focuses on survival before pleasure.
Now, before I go any further, I want to make sure that you know my intention is to see the possibility, not the problem. However, we must be aware of the problem to navigate it, or we will mindlessly get sucked into overthinking. It’s not you. It’s how the mind works. It’s how our attention does what it does. The good news is –– we can harness our attention.
INTENTION FUELS ATTENTION
My dad always said that curiosity is the fuel of life, and I found as a leader and a coach that it’s always what cultivates a better culture. If curiosity is at the core of how we think and engage, we build better human relationships. You have heard me say before that intention fuels attention, and the key here is that if your mind is stuck on what’s not working, you will find all the reasons why something is wrong.
If your intention is to figure out how to make it work, your attention will look for how to make it work.
That brings me to the power of an open question.
It’s a principle that has long been at the core of mindfulness and Buddhism, which I started studying in 1990, along with Quantum Physics, because I wanted to understand myself better. I found myself stuck looking for my worth and value, having been so used to the success of my job being what defined me. I wanted to understand the difference between being successful in terms of achievement and being happy because I felt that I had something to offer. What I found there was a science behind how our mindset can work against us or for us.
I have been fascinated by how the human mind works since I was a little girl. My dad would consciously teach me about asking questions as a key to my education and growth, and he would never answer me when I found myself stuck or had questions; he would just ask more questions to guide me toward finding my own answer.
So, when my life fell apart after coming to the US in 1989, I needed to learn how deep inner inquiry can help reclaim agency in my life.
THE POWER OF AN OPEN QUESTION
When we are looking for the answers, we cut off the power of our curiosity. Remember, as a kid, you could ask questions all day long. Looking for answers, we skip to the solution too fast, instead of pausing to question if it’s true, if there’s more, if there’s another way or a possibility we have not yet thought of. We will perhaps feel productive and accomplished because we found the answer, but if we are looking for creativity, innovation, and growth, we need to keep asking more questions.
Under stress, the tendency will be to run with the first answer, and we will often solve the wrong problem. When we pause to ask more questions, listen, and ask again, we cultivate the kind of inquiry that leads to the flourishing possibility of our mind and the expansion of collaboration.
The purpose of curiosity is to practice openness. To let opportunity and possibility show itself by learning to pause and listen for just a little longer.
Staying open is not comfortable. We humans like to know. We like to sound like we have the answer, we like to know what we are going to do, and we like to feel in charge. Knowing that allows us to stay curious for just a little longer. Pushing against our own discomfort gives us the space to grow past it. Please don’t expect yourself to pause and be fine with the space of not knowing. It takes practice, and that’s ok. When we know that, perhaps we can laugh at it. Perhaps we can give more space and grace to each other as well before we jump in with more answers to show we have it all figured out. Being the all-knowing rather than the all-curious.
Curiosity is the key to unlocking our own potential and building the trust that helps us work better together, too.
When things start going too fast, ask for a moment, “CAN WE PAUSE ON THIS?” This is how we can connect, communicate, and collaborate with more C.A.R.E.: curiosity, acknowledgment, respect, and empathy, building the kind of culture together where everyone matters.
