Do you have a worry-free zone?

In today's fast-paced world, finding moments of peace and tranquility can be challenging. Yet, having a worry-free zone is crucial for maintaining mental well-being and productivity.

WE DON’T FIX BURNOUT BY TAKING TIME OFF 

The evenings when I feel spent are not because I’m working longer or harder; it’s those days when I worry the most. As I write this, I watch the hummingbirds on my terrace fighting each other for their juice, even though there’s plenty for everyone. They chase each other away to claim their spot. If you didn’t know it, hummingbirds are territorial.

As a solopreneur, I don’t have to fight with other team members, but you could argue that the online fight to be noticed can wear you out similarly. 

My general belief is not to fight for attention but to share content that matters. The people who find it valuable will join me, and others will not. I have come to accept that, and so I don’t have to engage in a territorial fight about it. The thing is, a territorial battle is an emotional one. 

RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK

People in workplaces with a competitive or toxic culture often have to fight to be seen, heard, valued, and included. Research shows that this constant struggle to fit in wears us out and can lead to “covering.” 

Covering at work means hiding who we are or trying to be included, going along with what others think and do, even if it’s against our values. Covering falls into four categories: association, appearance, advocacy, and affiliation. According to the report, 60% of U.S. workers reported covering at work in the last 12 months, and 63% reported covering before they even began a job. 

This means that we have to pretend or hide at work, which causes us to worry about more than just doing a good job. It's a stressor that affects our overall well-being and, with that, our performance.

For almost twenty years, I have been coaching to help people succeed and grow without burning out. The core problem is never the hours they work; it's the relationships at work that cause stress.

As you may have heard me say before, we don’t burn out from working too much; -we burn out from worrying too much, feeling that we don’t matter and that our work is not valued.

If we think time off will fix burnout, we are chasing the wrong solution. It will not. In the same way, if we think self-care means time off, we have self-care all wrong. 

To fix burnout, we need to build a healthy culture. To build a healthy culture, we need a self-care mindset, where the key to our well-being is not found in work-life balance and boundaries around how much we work; it's found in work-life quality, cultivating an environment where we are not constantly worrying. A healthy culture is not about perks or place but rather about cultivating healthy human relationships, starting with the one we have with ourselves.

I’m sure you recognize that when stressed, we are more impatient and critical; when we feel safe, we are more curious, creative, and collaborative. I'm discussing with you here that stress isn’t working. The focus must be on stopping stress from running our lives and ruining our relationships, which are at the core of our well-being.

FIND YOUR ZONE  

We cannot change culture without doing so together, but we can find moments to be worry-free. I call it having a worry-free zone. This is not something we find; it's something we choose to create. 

So often, we focus on being in the zone of high performance. It is essentially the same as a worry-free zone because we focus on solving the problems constructively and creatively. We are having fun, and our attention is focused on what’s possible. Self-doubt is pushed aside, and when we don’t know something, we seek to find out by asking questions rather than beating ourselves up.

However, to get there, we need worry-free zones, sometimes throughout the day and sometimes to begin and end the day.

That’s where Power-Pausing comes in.

A Power Pause might be just a minute to take a few slow breaths into your belly to calm your nervous system and reset your attention. Do that throughout the day before a meeting, before answering a challenging email, or in meetings when emotions get triggered, or impatience pulls at you to react.

TAKE FIVE  

Create more extended moments to give your mind and attention some space and grace to think about nothing—yes, nothing. You may be going for a walk, stretching, watering your plants, sweeping your floor, or practicing meditation during that time.

We often think we don’t have time to meditate. If that’s the case, meditate for longer. It’s a bit of a joke among meditators, but it’s true. Meditation is a way to train the mind to stop worrying and start working better.

A QUICK MEDITATION  

Take a seat. Sit upright, not too tight, not too loose. Focus your attention on your breath, going in and out. Follow the breath. When you notice that your mind is starting to think, gently say the word, thinking, and go back to following the breath in and out. 

Noticing and noting that you are thinking is a simple way (not easy, but possible) to start catching yourself sooner and faster when your mind trails off, which minds do many times daily. So this is not only a way to train your mind to be worry-free for five minutes, but it’s also a way to train your mind to focus on what you want it to focus on.

That’s how Power-Pausing helps us reclaim agency over our worry and take back our power of choice, enabling us to work more effectively toward solving problems and harnessing possibilities.

It also lowers stress and increases well-being and performance all at once. One breath at a time.