is there a critic on your team?

WHO IS THINKING? WHO IS LISTENING? WHO IS SPEAKING?

When I ask you if there's a critic on your team, I'm also going to add that it might be you. Now before you get upset with me, hear me out. We all have an inner critic; it's part of our human reaction to fear and uncertainty. It's very easy to fall into the mindset of the inner critic when we are faced with "not knowing," and we look for what's not working.

UNCERTAINTY KILLS CURIOSITY.

The cat didn't die from curiosity, as the story goes, but rather from CARE which in the context it was used in 1598 meant to worry.

More than ever, we are experiencing stress, anxiety, and depression – we are living and working in uncertain times, and our human mind doesn't like this very much. We are not good with change – especially when change happens to us.

Change is interesting because we think we want it, yet our unconscious mind tends to perceive it as a "danger” when it happens. This is one of the reasons we are critical rather than curious when presented with something new. Until we feel safe – which comes from having agency – the new idea seems impossible for us, making us feel incapable and uncomfortable. It takes time to get used to a new idea, just like we need time to trust new people.

Essentially instead, we can say that uncertainty is the killer of creativity. However, if we pause and recognize what's happening, we can use uncertainty to spark curiosity and creativity instead.

INTENTION FUELS ATTENTION.

The mind is incredible. It will believe anything we tell it. This is why changing the words we use and how we ask questions about ourselves and each other can completely shift our focus. That also means reclaiming agency and changing our choices and actions. This is essential for understanding how to lead yourself and your teams to success.

RECOGNIZING THE INNER DIALOG.

Have you ever found yourself presenting an idea in a meeting, and while looking for perceptive clues in the faces on the screen, you start second-guessing yourself? You begin to hear your inner critic telling you that the idea is no good, and you should have done or said it differently. You start feeling more and more uncomfortable because your mind – or rather your inner critic – is so hard on you, that you can feel your stomach-churning.

And yet, nothing is being said in the meeting that might point to your idea being as bad as your mind is making it out to be. Now, people start telling you that they like it, but you don’t believe them, because your inner critic has already convinced you that the idea is no good.

When the future seems disconnected from the present, which, we can argue, is what fear does, it drives a critical wedge into our vision. We lose the ability to make clear decisions about the future.

On the contrary, when we are able to connect to a positive future scenario, our odds of success increase. According to PNAS, study results support the hypothesis that when an individual refers more often to the present, they are also more likely to turn their focus to the future while dwelling less on the past.

This effect is stronger with far future sightedness, suggesting that when we can see the possibility of the future as more connected to the present moment we make better decisions.

This is how athletes train to break their own records. They play the scenario through in their mind over and over until their body feels as if it’s already done the thing prior to when they need to perform in real life. This is what our inner coach looks like in action.

This is not about positive psychology, it's about pausing to redirect your attention towards what you want to accomplish rather than what you are concerned is not going to work.

There's a story of an Elder Cherokee who is teaching his grandchild to be more mindful. One day, they come across two wolves fighting in the woods. The child asks, “Grandfather – which is going to win? The good wolf, or the bad wolf? And the Elder responds, “The one that you feed”.

CHANGE THE QUESTION, CHANGE THE OUTCOME.

When we change the question, we change the outcome. What questions are you asking? Are they coming from your inner critic? When we take time to pause we can change the question and instead ask: what do I need so that I can...? This is how we engage with the inner coach, the one who has our future goal in mind.

May the Pause be with You.

-Jeanette

Learn more about how to reclaim agency in a world of uncertainty by checking back in here, learn about The Self-Care Mindset® and stay tuned for my upcoming book: THE SELF-CARE PARADOX