WHEN WORK IS HARD, DO YOU PUSH HARDER OR DO YOU GET CURIOUS?
Work isn't easy.
Learn to focus on the possibility not the problem
“It was a hard day at work.”
How often do we find ourselves saying that? I have them too. But that’s reality; if work was easy, wouldn’t we all be bored? It's inherent in us that life is about growth. However, I don't think we look at it that way. Do you? Do you wake up in the morning and wonder how you will grow today, or do you worry about what you might have to deal with that you didn't expect, predict or prepare for?
We grow through adversity, yet we don't set out to find adversity on purpose. We don't start our workday hoping for adversity, yet, adversity is what problem solvers are for, what innovation is for, what learning new skills is for, and what sometimes creates loss and sometimes creates a new path.
What is your mindset when things get difficult?
Let's imagine a client calls you and says they have changed their mind and don't think your product is right for them. You might have spent months in conversations and negotiations and were thinking you were about to sign the agreement. Then they pull out. Where does your mind go? Do you think you did something wrong? Do you think the product you are selling is not good enough? Do you think the client is wrong, and they just don't get it? Or are you wondering what you missed?
Pretty normal stuff to think about, right?
What if, instead, you asked what's missing for them to say yes? What if, instead, you were curious if there might be other ways to get them what they need? Is there a way to get deeper into the conversation about the problem they are trying to solve?
This is just an example of how we can use our mindset to focus on what's possible rather than the problem. I'm not saying there's a way to win your client over. I'm asking, how are you thinking and feeling through this?
You can use the 4 questions of the C.A.R.E. Framework in a situation like this:
Self-communication: What's the inner dialog going on? Are you in the pothole thinking about the problem and what went wrong and just trying harder to convince them to buy from you? Or are you taking a pause to reconsider what the client cares about, what they are trying to achieve, and if there's another way your product can solve the problem and get them closer to what good looks like? Maybe, just maybe, if you have more curious conversations with yourself and the client, you might both realize that you can co-create the solution with some rethinking.
Self-awareness: How are you feeling inside? While in conversation with the client, are you feeling anxious, scared, or upset? If so, there's a good chance you are not listening to the client but just to yourself and the debate going on inside of you, being emotionally charged and reacting to the circumstances. Instead, if you can acknowledge how you feel and ask yourself what you need to feel more calm and confident, see if that helps you shift your mindset.
Self-responsibility: What you need to feel more calm and confident? It is up to you to figure out what you need and how to achieve it (which may be to ask for help). Someone else cannot know or give you that. If you end up blaming or excusing your anxiety on your manager for putting pressure on you to get the deal, you are not going to get your needs met, nor are you going to feel any better.
Self-expression: How do you ask for what you need? If that's help, or more time to come up with another possibility, ask for it. No one will know how to support you if you don't ask for help or what you need. And work is not that easy when you go it alone.
The Self-Care Mindset® will give you the skills to make challenges and adversity at work easier to navigate, handle, and harness.
Instead of focusing on changing work, change how you work. And who knows, maybe you will find new ways to make work easier when growing through adversity.
You can also check out last weeks newsletter about growing through adversity, it's on the blog now.
