CHANGE IS NOT A DESTINATION

Are we there yet?  

If you are going through change at work or in your personal life, you can probably resonate with the thought "when will this be over?" When kids ask that question they mean the car ride, because they are really looking forward to the destination. They have an idea about what to expect. It might be grandma, the beach, somewhere to play, but it's never the unknown, because we have made sure to paint a picture of what's ahead and what to expect. And we always make it something to look forward to.

The vision that makes the unknown safe is essential to managing stress of change. A clear picture of why we are changing and what to expect is crucial for everyone to have in order to know what's expected of them too.

WHY? 

Because we humans like to know what's ahead. If not, we will wander aimlessly or resist ferociously.

As I have talked about before, we humans don't like change and yet we also crave change. It's a paradox really, however not one that means there's something wrong with you for feeling this way. My mom always said, don't change too many things in your life at once, it's too much to handle. What she was referring to was moving, marriage, and work.
When companies go through organizational change it's stressful for everyone. From team to top. But the stressors are different, because the FUD: fear, uncertainty and doubt, is different for each of us and we each need different support to manage stress.

Think of it this way: If I asked you to draw a picture of a scary situation, we would each draw a different picture. We each have fears, and as humans we all have core fears. The core fears are important to tackle during change because they will create a culture ripple effect. The individual fears are something we can each work with because they are based on our own stories and experiences.

The core human fears are deeply rooted in us and don't have the added layer of story. They are more connected to the instinct of survival which comes back to our innate humanness.

The first core fear is the survival instinct of mobility (can I run from the tiger), food and shelter; which in today's world shows up as financial wellbeing and our general health.

The second core fear is will I be accepted by the tribe, which in our modern society means inclusion and belonging in a family, community, or company culture.

The third is being respected or rejected, which today shows up as relevance. Do I have what it takes to be respected and keep my position?

To maintain peak performance during times of change, we must face the FUD: fear, uncertainty and doubt, and use it as information to cultivate a stronger togetherness, because we don't go through change alone; we do it together.

Togetherness is key to navigating change with agility. Feeling alone is paralyzing because all our core fears are triggered.

TOGETHERNESS. 

We tend to think in images, which is why visualizing what good looks like is an important aspect of navigating and communicating what to expect from change. When coaching people, I see the power of creating a relationship with who we are becoming as a way to unlock the power of intention and attention, which adds up to how we steer towards what we want to achieve.

If you are a parent, you know you need to paint the picture of what lies ahead, if you are a leader you need to do the same thing. Each of us need to develop a relationship with the future by meeting our emotions by pausing to listen, and then building confidence through the process of curiosity, clarity and courage.

Research shows that companies that tell the story about the desired outcome have greater success, which essentially means they are telling the story of who WE are becoming together. This gives each of us the possibility to fit ourselves into the story and feel more safe.

HOWEVER, CHANGE IS A PROCESS. 

Where we often get stuck is the process of change. It's not enough to know where we are going, we need the agility to navigate the ups and downs of change. If we get disappointed and disconnected along the way, stress kicks in again and instead of feeling engaged we feel disgruntled. It's normal, which is why we can do something about it.  

When we "yes, -and" through change we can be more agile. The faster we can accept that something didn't go as planned and perhaps didn't even work out, the faster we can adjust and adapt the steps to get to the desired outcome.

When I was racing sail-boats with my dad back in Denmark, we knew where we were going, we had a strategy and a plan for who does what, who is responsible for what, but that was as far as we could prepare. The rest was about being responsive in the moment. Each of us had a role to play. Someone was responsible for watching the other boats, the wind direction and the current (me). Someone was responsible for adjusting the sails according to my input. And someone would steer the boat, based on the current conditions (my dad).

Sometimes it got hot and steaming as we were yelling information and commands at each other, but we all knew that the moments mattered, and we knew we respected each other, which is why we worked well as a team, even under pressure. We all knew that the ego-perspective would not work, we needed to have an eco-perspective. We worked as a team to achieve results and we supported each other to each do our jobs well.
We get through change together and at the core of a healthy, strong, agile culture is our shared humanity.

As we unlock these human skills, we access our ability to create powerful change and a better future together.