TO EFFORT OR NOT

Is the effort worth it?

I had a conversation with a dear friend this past week about effort. We met up in Venice after I finished a keynote and leadership workshop in Milan for UniCredit (more about that later). She came down from Denmark and even though that is just a small plane ride, the effort is a bit more of a decision, since it involves jumping on a water taxi for 1 1/2 hours and walking through small streets and over bridges with your suitcase. But the effort is needed to enter the magic of Venice and so, in a way, the magic and the effort go together. There's no other way to get there so you might as well enjoy the ride.

I took the train from Milan to Venice, then a smaller ride with a water taxi, and thankfully didn't have to walk too far, since my luggage was a bit bigger and heavier, but I was not happy when I had to cross a bridge, dragging my big case, only to realize I should have stayed on the other side and waited for the taxi ride. I looked for the car taxi spot and the hotel sent a taxi to the water taxi spot.

When we had both arrived and finally sat down for lunch, we could laugh at all of it, because it really came down to not knowing enough before starting out. 

IS KNOWING MORE THE ANSWER TO THRIVING?

Heading back we both knew more about what to expect and we felt better prepared; the effort was the same, but the experience was different. Or maybe the mindset?

When we face something new and unexpected, we can choose to resist and struggle or to learn, we can approach it with an attitude of too much effort or with curiosity. Essentially we are faced with similar situations several times a day, and when we are already stressed, we don't want to add anymore to our plate of things to worry about, and we can fall into the mindset of resisting the effort. The paradox is that essentially that's more effort.

Even though learning to adapt to change can seem like a lot of effort, it's actually the more effortless way to work and life. Of course in a new place, we can wander down streets we don't know, get lost and have to walk further to get back. I tried that the first evening and yet it was perfect, because it gave me more information about Venice than I could have known by studying a map. I walked into a neighborhood that was different from the tourist area and it gave me a sense of community that I didn't realize existed in a place that is probably one of the most visited tourist destinations in Europe. Instead of feeling lost, I found new insight. 

EMBRACE THE EFFORT TO EASE UNCERTAINTY.  

Now I do have the mindset that walking about I will learn more about a place rather than reading about it. The experience of doing it and being there cannot be replaced by knowing what to expect, but rather by not knowing and approaching it with curiosity.

Of course we cannot go into something blindly, but the safety of knowing what to expect before we experience is a myth that keeps us stuck in perceived comfort, lacking exploration of what's possible.

Wanting to know what to expect can get us stuck avoiding change. It can show up as sticking with old habits that no longer serve us, old mindset, and old behaviors. It might seem like less effort sticking to what we know, but when the time comes where we are forced to change it is far more effort. Believe me. I have seen many people during my time coaching where illness is the wakeup call or tension in relationships are no longer bearable but we avoided the conflict because it felt challenging. Or staying in a job we have outgrown because leaving seems overwhelming.

Sure, change is messy. Not knowing is uncomfortable. But it doesn't have to be more effort, it can be more ease.

THE AGILITY MINDSET. 

Adopting a mindset of agility is one where we trust ourselves to adapt and respond in the moment, rather than needing to feel certain about the situation, we have confidence in ourselves.

Being more agile is a skill we can all learn and it is one we need to thrive in today's work and life climate. Agility makes us stay on top of change, however that means we need to be willing not to know, be willing to be in the discomfort of trying something that might not work out, or being vulnerable and asking for input or help.

With our daily reality changing faster than ever before, being willing to let go of what we know and ask questions that make us more agile is a skill we can all learn. That's the skill we need the most and that's why The Self-Care Mindset is so important right now. It gives you the framework to become the kind of agility warrior that gives you confidence instead of burning you out.

Agility and growth mindset comes from a perspective of approaching what we don't know with curiosity, courage and confidence that we will figure it out. Instead of having the answers, let's find them as we navigate the new and unknown streets of a new place more effortlessly.